taking things for granted,

don't. even though it's almost human nature to do so. especially in relationships. i've always though "you don't miss your water till the well runs dry" is cliche and corny. but it's so true. i'm quite a pessimistic person and i tend to pick faults rather than than seeing the good side. especially in relationships. well i learnt my lesson. and it seems like this is gonna be an rather personal post but oh well everybody's got to share some stories. so here goes.

i know i'm probably still bordering the adolescent stage with raging hormones and puppy love and all, but if you were to ask me which relationship was the most memorable so far in the course of my life, i would say that it's my second last relationship. What mattered most was that we weren't just people in love or having crushes or anything like that, we were true friends and true soul mates. it was the most special relationship that i had for the primary reason that everything was so film-sh. it was like one of those romantic chick-flicks, so scripted, so heartwarming. we had to split mainly for 2 reasons: i had to move to oz and i was being an ***hole after i moved here. it was tragic. i was so caught up with the excitement of settling and exploring a whole new culture that i no longer felt concerned by his absence. so i initiated the split.

being a true gentleman, i was forgiven for everything that i've done and it wasn't long before we both moved on. we remained friends. but my boyfriends hates the fact that we are friends, because let's admit it, no one likes their partners to remain close with their exes. So i thought since i made a tragic mistake with the last relationship i should learn from it and learn to be responsible in this one. I avoid conversation with my ex as much as possible. Be it new year sms, msn conversations, they started depleting as time goes by. Just today though, we talked on msn. I know this sounds so teenager and not grown-up, the whole cyber/virtual conversation thing, but it's still significant to me.

I saw that his display picture was with this nice-looking chick and so i probed him, as a friend, for details. Turns out that they were dating. I instantly grinned. I'm so happy for him that he's finally getting he deserves (in the positive sense). As far as I know, he is the nicest guy i've ever met on the planet, and cute too. I urged him to bring her this coming saturday for our reunion in singapore during my transit time, telling him that im so excited and i'd like to get to know her. It's true, she looks like she will treat him the right way, unlike what i did last time. But a small part of me couldnt help but feel a pang of sadness. Because i know i had my chance and i blew it. Because i know that i took him for granted and ruined our near perfect relationship. Because i know that that person in the picture could've been me. Because deep inside i know that out of all the nice people that i dated, he understood me the most, because it wasnt just romance, it was friendship and brother/sisterhood. I concede and admit that i miss him. not just him as person, but the times we shared together with our friends too.

oh well, see, you don't miss your water till your well runs dry. i've learnt to cherish more, i think.